Life is Messy But Love is Messier
by Eanna Malkavia
Summary: Reid primary, Hotch secondary. OC Hannah. Reid and his girlfriend Hannah have lived together and had an open relationship since they met in college. They try and remain honest with each other, but both have secrets and insecurities. Hotch does what he can to help his friends, but more often than not, his own feelings for Hannah get in the way. Each episode is a chapter.
1. Extreme Aggressor

Life Is Messy But Love Is Messier

**Disclaimer:**** CBS owns all Criminal Minds characters. All original characters are mine.****  
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**Author's Note:**** This is a re-write. Not much has changed, save style and when I reveal certain things (earlier than before, I'm improving plot by outlining, highly recommended;). I know from the previous story that some of my readers did not like the Hannah/Hotch relationship, but let me state for the matter that I am not removing that component from this story. Hannah runs her own life, not me, and she loves many people. Please enjoy and review.**

Chapter 1

**Extreme Aggressor**

Spencer woke up before dawn when his blankets slipped off him. At that same moment, his girlfriend Hannah rolled off her side of the bed and uttered a pained squeak as she hit the floor.

"Ow! Spencer!"

"Hannah?" Spencer rolled and peeked over her side. "Did you hit your head?"

Hannah rubbed the side of her head, above her left ear, and winced.

"Yeah."

Spencer climbed off the bed and stepped over Hannah, then helped her sit up. He parted her hair on her left and examined the bump.

"How bad does it hurt?"

"A three. No, a three and a half."

"It doesn't look bad right now, but you should ice it soon." Spencer ran a finger across her vision left to right and her eyes followed. "Keep following my finger."

"Why do you always have to do this?"

"Because you insist on sleeping on the left side of the bed when you're drunk and you know you roll left when you're drunk."

"The left is my side! Besides, if I slept on the right when I've been drinking, I would just roll both of us off the bed."

"No, you'd roll into me and I'd stop you."

Hannah smiled. Spencer's stomach did that butterfly thing that his college friends warned him about. Her smile always did that to him, ever since their first night.

Spencer and Hannah met at a fraternity party just after pledge week on the Harvard campus. He attended MIT after transferring in from CalTech, and Hannah studied English Literature at Harvard after graduating high school at age fifteen. They were seventeen that night, too young to be at a drinking party, though neither one touched a drop of alcohol. Hannah's best friend, the twenty-two year old Jenna, accompanied her and kept her away from the drinks table, and Spencer's classmate and good friend Paul dragged him to his twin brother's frat party after a week of begging him to come and show people his magic tricks. Spencer relented and didn't regret it. He impressed the hell out of the drunk party goers.

He first spotted Hannah when he went to get a drink of water but got distracted by an invite to play poker with some Harvard students. She breezed in behind Jenna, looking like a sea goddess in her blue and green dress. Spencer turned away before she looked his way, too nervous to even smile at her. When she did glance at his retreating back, Hannah saw the deck of cards in his hand and then his watch over his sleeve. She thought about what the eccentricity meant. It was a trait of a gifted mind. Though gifted herself, she did not possess the aversion to metal on her skin. Hannah always picked up on the things that people said and did. Her parents were famous psychologists, and taught all eight of their kids how to observe and analyze. She made a mental note to track down the guy with the watch over his sleeve later after some mingling.

Over the next two hours, Spencer kept entertaining with his magic tricks and Hannah stayed far away from the temptation of the drink's table, which was also near where Spencer set up shop. Jenna stopped to watch him about ten times as she walked by for more drinks, and after she was good and drunk she decided Hannah needed to see the card tricks, but by the time she found Hannah and dragged her over, Spencer had vanished on another break. He never returned to the crowd waiting to see more tricks because Hannah stumbled upon him as they both stared at the alcohol bottles. Spencer's was there studying the alcohol volumes. Hannah was contemplating stealing a drink. That idea vanished the moment she looked up and saw Spencer, his hair shaggy, disheveled, and a bit sweaty from the heat. He'd left his glasses at his apartment and forgot an hour into the party that he even needed them.

Hannah pulled him away from the bottles and over to an open window with a breeze coming in. Five minutes later, after they discussed their majors and interests, Spencer grabbed her hand and tried leading her up to the roof to see the stars. She knew the building better, a fraternity one of her older brother's once lived in, and had them dangling their legs over the roof ledge two minutes later. They talked astronomy, mythology, Star Wars and Star Trek, classes, friends, and literature until the party dispersed and the guy who lived under their ledge told them to get off his roof. Their conversation continued in whispers as they snuck out of the fraternity. They wandered campus for a half hour, looked up at their surroundings as the sun came up, then headed for the nearest apartment, Hannah's, just a few blocks off campus. Before they arrived Hannah explained her roommate situation.

She lived with an older brother, Donald. Don for short and a different brother than the one who once lived in the fraternity. He worked at an accounting firm downtown and didn't like the stiff rules their parents set for him and Hannah co-inhabiting. He didn't want to check on her a dozen times a day and ask her all the questions their parents wanted him to ask her, so he created his own rules. So long as Hannah checked in with him, refrained from sex until she turned eighteen and alcohol until her twenty-first birthday, and did her homework, he didn't pry and he let her enjoy her freedom away from their parents and other siblings. In exchange for this, she let him stay over at his girlfriend Tracy's apartment as much as he wanted and lied to their parents about what each of them really did. Her twin brother Matthew, still in high school, helped them out by warning them of impending or surprise visits. The arrangement worked well for Hannah and Don. They liked not seeing each other as much as possible, as they didn't see eye to eye on most things and arguments cropped up over stupid things if they occupied the same room for more than fifteen minutes.

After her explanation, Spencer felt uncomfortable going to her place, until she explained Don made plans with his girlfriend for the whole weekend and wouldn't be back till the evening. That gave them a few hours to catch up on the sleep they missed out on last night. After some convincing, Spencer agreed to sleep at her place. They slept, but did quite a bit of kissing too. Almost two months later, they moved in together, less than a month after Spencer's eighteenth birthday on the ninth of October, and the night before Hannah's eighteenth birthday on Halloween. They celebrated by christening the apartment all night. By dawn they were sore, but happy they weren't virgins anymore.

That was six years ago, and a few dozen falls off the left side of the bed.

"You'd catch me if I fell?"

"I have caught you. Remember your twenty-first birthday party?"

"Please don't remind me of the porcelain goddess." Hannah said as she smiled again.

Everyone who met Hannah fell in a kind of love with her smile. Her joyful personality and good looks helped too. Blue eyed, tan, five feet eight inches, and brunette, Hannah looked stunning in the simplest outfit. Sometimes Spencer didn't understand why she fell in love with him, but she did and that made him feel good.

Their relationship worked despite what other people perceived as obstacles, like Spencer's work that required he travel often, or Hannah's inability to do a monogamous relationship.

Of their entire extended family, just Hannah and Matthew could maintain a long term, committed relationship with one person while also enjoying other relationships. Spencer found it fascinating from a psychological viewpoint. He and Matthew's girlfriend Allison loved Matthew and Hannah and saw nothing wrong with the arrangement. Allison also saw other people, and Spencer tried when he didn't feel like a nervous idiot. He liked JJ, and the fact that he felt free acting like himself around her.

Hannah and Matthew's parents on the other hand found the twin's dating and relationship arrangements very strange and asked all four of them very personal questions. When asked about it themselves, all Hannah and Matthew could say was that they loved many people, and sex was just one form of showing love. Spencer understood that. Allison understood that and lived it too. Even Spencer's team understood the dynamics of their relationship better than her parents did.

Aaron Hotchner could even quote Hannah's relationship rules off the top of his head. Spencer suspected he knew why his boss had memorized them, and why he repeated them. The first rule Hannah followed was no sexual relationships with married men, unless they were in an open marriage and had permission from their wife to date Hannah. Her second rule mirrored the first; no dating men already dating another woman, unless permission was given by the girlfriend. The third rule was always communicate to the primary relationship, Spencer, who Hannah was seeing and when, and when the relationship ended and why. Spencer even had permission to run background checks on Hannah's other relationships, as well as Allison's and Matthew's. Her brother and his girlfriend also followed the same rules.

There was also a separate, fourth rule for just Hannah. No sexual relationships with students until they graduated from the University. Those did not last past the summer most of the time, and while Spencer tried to discourage them from beginning, both Hannah and the former student felt fulfilled by the end of it. Unlike the rest of Hannah's relationships, Spencer threatened these ones with prison time if they ever hurt her.

They came up with a few more in the months and years since then. Not all of them were about relationships. Some were about Spencer's shyness, and Hannah's reaction to drinking.

"I'm just glad you became a more responsible drinker after that night." Spencer said as he turned away to turn on the bedside lamp.

"Me too. Sorry I woke you by stealing your blankets."

Spencer looked back, saw Hannah trying to hide her laugh, and grinned at her.

"Don't worry about it."

Hannah snorted, then kept still as Spencer tested her pupil reaction to the light. When he finished and nodded his all clear, Hannah started untangling herself from the bedsheets.

"How about I make it up to you by whipping up some breakfast?"

"Deal." Spencer said with a smile as he helped pull Hannah free from the sheets one lanky limb at a time.

"Thank you." Hannah said once she was free.

"Tell me again why you won't make the bed in the proper manner, with the sheets tucked in under the mattress?"

"My legs suffer from claustrophobia."

"Okay little bird."

The childhood family nickname annoyed her but Spencer used it anyway.

"Hey!"

Hannah grabbed her pillow, but Spencer ducked. They wrestled for it and ended up back on the bed. In a few more seconds, Spencer pinned Hannah and straddled her. Neither one moved until he kissed her as he released her wrists. Hannah pulled off his t-shirt and he slipped his fingers under her tank top. For the next several minutes they kissed, caressed and undressed each other. While certain things touching his skin bothered him, Hannah always felt right.

After enough foreplay passed, Hannah grew impatient and caressed his cock as she separated her vaginal lips. Spencer pulled her closer and push inside as Hannah moaned. For the first few slow strokes, Hannah arched her back while she ran her hands through her hair, but then she flew up and whispered in Spencer's ear.

"Rough."

Half an hour and two orgasms each later, Spencer and Hannah disentangled and lay in each others arms while they caught their breath.

"I'm starving." Spencer said once he had his breath back.

"Oh? And which kind of hungry are you?" Hannah said with a grin as she rubbed her hands down her abdomen, each stroke taking her hands lower and lower.

"Kitchen sink pancakes and Jamaican bean coffee." Spencer said with an even bigger grin.

"Tall order."

"Sex before breakfast gives me a big appetite."

"I was hoping you were hungry for something a little closer at hand.

"You're impossible to satisfy."

"You knew that the night we met."

Before they had even left the fraternity roof, Hannah talked at length about her philosophies on life and love, and the ground rules she created to stay safe once she turned eighteen and started having sex, except for the fourth rule, which she hadn't invented yet. Spencer found her mind fascinating and agreed to the rules before the sun rose and they crashed at her apartment.

"Yes I did." Spencer said in one of his sexy tones before his mouth vanished below Hannah's pelvic bone.

Well after the sun came up and they should have gotten out of bed, Spencer stepped into the shower while Hannah floated down the stairs of their townhouse and raided the fridge. After ten minutes, he walked into the kitchen dressed for work in a sweater vest Hannah bought him and sniffed the air.

"This smells good. Reminds me of college."

Back in college, Hannah developed a coveted gift. Opening a sparse refrigerator, she could create a decadent meal out of whatever she found inside. Others students called her up and described what they had or just showed her. All their college friends idolized her for it and soon the dorm residents started keeping copies of a few of her more creative recipes.

"All colleges should offer freshman a course in the art of kitchen foraging."

"You could teach it."

Hannah laughed.

"Damn right!"

Hannah loved cooking and Reid loved that about her. He also loved the fact that she put up with his social ineptitude. Hannah didn't mind leading him through social rituals and always knew when he needed out of a situation or a room. Few people created better escapes from parties than Hannah.

They ate in silence. No one ever talked during one of Hannah's creative meals, not until it all vanished. Hannah slapped together a delicious smelling breakfast from the few things they had. They needed more groceries, and tonight. Spencer planned on joining her for that before they continued what they started this morning. He hoped the team didn't get called out of town for a case. Given Gideon's trauma in Boston months prior, and the hiatus on their travel since then, Spencer thought that wouldn't happen.

Spencer washed up the dishes once they finished. As he rinsed, Hannah snaked her arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck. Hannah alone knew about that spot. Turning around, Spencer kissed her, and Hannah returned it in kind.

"We'll go shopping for food tonight and I'll make dinner." Hannah straightened his sweater. "I'll call you when I'm leaving the University."

Hannah taught graduate level literature courses at Georgetown. She aced everything in school, and graduated at fifteen, but loved literature more than any other subject, earning two Ph.D's in literature to Spencer's three in chemistry, engineering, and psychology, and for the past few years, she toyed with several ideas for her third.

"I'll wait for your call." Spencer said before he kissed her forehead.

She loved that gesture.

* * *

A few hours later Spencer slipped the file for their newest case into his satchel and grabbed his cell phone. He had to cancel dinner plans with his girlfriend. The kidnapped girl in Seattle had just a few days left to live. Spencer knew Hannah would understand.

After Boston, everyone removed their go bag from the office, leaving them at home. Spencer had time to talk to Hannah before the team left, and meant to use every spare minute of it.

Half an hour later, Spencer walked into the townhouse and heard loud rock music coming from the dining room. He found Hannah at the kitchen table with school papers spread across the surface and her ipod hooked into the music port. She looked up and smiled at him as she wrote up a grocery list, ignoring the school papers.

"You're home early!" Hannah's smile faded as she sensed what was coming. "What's going on?"

"We're going back into the field. Seattle. We leave in a little over an hour."

Her face shifted into that intense look she wore while on a role, writing long into the night. Not disappointment, but determination and resolve. Hannah knew what working with the FBI in the BAU entailed, and helped Spencer get through the Academy and onto the team. He still didn't know all the details, but he suspected it involved her friendship with Aaron Hotchner that started not long before his graduation.

"Go catch the sonofabitch." Hannah said with a smile as she got up from the table, walked over to him, and, draping her arms over his shoulders, kissed him slow for over a minute until she broke away. "Come home okay, please?"

Spencer remembered the weeks after the Boston bombing, when Hannah would wake up in the middle of the night, a cry in her throat, and then lay there staring at him, or wake him up to ask if he was all right. It scared him for the first week, then he began to worry about her. It took Hannah a few trips up to New York to talk in person with her parents before she calmed down and slept through the night again. And Spencer hadn't even been in Boston. Gideon had accompanied another team.

"I promise."

Two minutes later, his go bag in hand, Spencer turned around as he opened the front door, crossed the foyer to Hannah, and gave her a tender kiss on the lips.

"I love you, Hannah."

"I love you, Spencer."

They gazed at each other for a few more seconds before Spencer kissed her forehead, and left.


	2. Compulsion

Chapter 2

**Compulsion**

Things became a little complicated after Spencer returned home from Seattle. He hid his feelings from his team about their cases and the unsubs they chased, but, living with him, Hannah always saw the aftermath. It didn't matter how well he hid those feelings, Hannah still read him like a kindergarten picture book. Spencer started to act different. He held her like a glass doll while they made love. That drove her crazy.

Hannah recognized these symptoms. The newspaper articles about the case that she read before he came home explained that the victims in Seattle were sexually assaulted. Those unsubs and cases troubled him. He thought not all men act like monsters and so he acted better, making up for those monsters. It happened before, after every sexual abuse case Spencer ever worked, but it frightened Hannah. She feared one day he might lose himself to his personal demons and his work demons, and she never wanted to lose the wonderful, dorky, nerdy, awkward Spencer Reid that Hannah fell in love with the night they met. Hannah felt blessed with Spencer, but he worried her.

She worried that someday something very drastic would happen, that would change the Spencer Hannah loved by turning him into someone else. Hannah feared that day and resolved she would never let him go over the deep end. More FBI agents suffered from burnout than those who escaped it, more so in the BAU. In the meantime, she worried about the team working in the field again. Spencer already suffered from the effects of their latest case, Jason struggled after Bale and his encounter with the Footpath Killer, and as Elle Greenaway made herself at home in DC, she set a new record for getting on Hannah's nerves. The first person to pick up on it was Aaron, at the team barbeque he held at least once a month in his backyard.

"Hannah, relax, you look like you want to kill someone." Aaron said as he stopped right behind her.

The jolt of surprise he expected didn't come. Instead, Hannah turned on her heel to face him, flipping her hair in the way that spoke of her impatience and frustration.

"Hint, her name rhymes with Hell."

Glancing over Hannah's left shoulder, Aaron spotted Elle a few yards off, chatting with JJ.

"She can be a bit brusque, but you'll get used to her."

"Used to her? I wouldn't be able to handle her all the time like the team is gonna have to." Hannah turned a bit and stared at the offensive female over her shoulder. "I'd hit her."

Grinning ear to ear, Aaron slipped his arm around Hannah's shoulder before leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Good thing I slipped extra rum in your drink to loosen you up. I'm surprised it hasn't started kicking in yet."

Hannah threw her head back and laughed, deep from in the belly. Everyone looked around at her, and when she spoke, everyone heard her.

"Aaron, you're crazy if you think this tiny splash of rum is going to make me drunk!" Her voice dropped into a conspiratorial whisper. "When was the last time you had one of my margaritas?"

"A while."

"Show me where Haley put the blender."

Aaron nodded and as soon as he unwrapped his arm from around Hannah, he cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled.

"Hannah's making margaritas!"

A cheer went up from from everyone but Haley, who couldn't drink while pregnant and instead groaned to display her frustration, Elle, who had never had one of Hannah's margaritas before, and Spencer.

"I'll be the designated driver. Again." Spencer said.

"You two can call a cab." Derek elbowed him. "Enjoy a drink."

"I will." Spencer half turned to face him and smiled. "She's going to make more when we get home."

"Ah, I see. Smart guy."

* * *

"Why don't you like her?" Spencer said once they returned home from the BBQ, a few seconds after Hannah announced her disliked of the newest team member.

"Elle is a snob, Spencer. She thinks so damn highly of herself. I can't believe Aaron and Jason put her on the team."

"Elle's smart. She helped us catch the unsub in Seattle and earned her spot on this team."

"I'm not denying her intelligence, I'm just pointing out that she acts so damn conceited. I have a double Ph.D and she acted like I'm inferior. So what if I don't find psychology as fascinating as she does? I'm not interested in it. Hell, I grew up in it, and it lost it's luster for me around the time I turned thirteen. She just rubs me the wrong way. Does she rub anyone on the team the wrong way? You know, Jason told me that she acted impatient in Seattle until she listened to his advice and followed her gut, but I can still see her impatience. She told me wants another case out in the field. I could swear it's like a drug to her."

"We all do."

"What? You want to go back out there?"

"Of course." Spencer said, but Hannah turned and walked away from him with an angry huff. "Hannah!"

"I hate what the field does to you and everyone else on the team! You bring it home with you. I know you try not to, but you do."

"How do I bring it home?"

"Ever since you got back from Seattle, you've treated me like a victim!"

"No I haven't. You're not a victim."

"You've been acting like I'm made of glass." Hannah turned around and pointed at him. "After every rape case you work, you do it. And you keep doing it until another case takes the place of that nightmare. I love you, Spencer, and I know how crucial your job is, but right now the BAU is driving me mad!"

Spencer stood frozen for a moment.

"Do you want me to transfer?"

"No! I don't want you to transfer. You do important work. I want you to stop shutting me out. I want you to talk to me, include me, not leave me to figure out what the hell happened out in the field by reading the newspaper articles, and reading you and your actions."

"You want me to talk to you about my cases?"

"Yes, if that's what you need to do so you can talk to me about what's troubling you."

"No! Absolutely not. I won't have you psychoanalyzing me."

Hannah crossed her arms.

"Oh really now? Why not? And who the hell said anything about psychoanalysis, because I certainly didn't."

"I've never brought that home before and I won't bring it home now."

"Damn it Spencer, you can't shut me out forever!"

"Hannah, I'm trying to protect you!"

"Stop! I don't want that. I know what's out there in the world and I can handle it."

"No, you can't."

"Well thank you for making me fell like a fucking five year old. By the way, when I was five, my parents were teaching me to recognize the signs of a predator!"

"Hannah, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did!"

"I don't want to argue with you right now. You're drunk."

"You always avoid a fight by saying I'm drunk. Stop it."

"Because you want to fight when you get too drunk!"

"That is not true!"

"We will continue discussing this in the morning."

"Fine!

Hannah left him standing in the living room. As he followed her up the stairs he noticed she walked past their bedroom, heading straight for their guest bedroom. She slept there when they fought.

"You're going to sleep in the guest bedroom?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I'm too angry to sleep next to you after that."

"You're mad at me?"

"Goodnight Spencer!"

Hannah slammed the bedroom door behind her.

The next morning, Hannah slipped out before Spencer even woke up, a common occurrence following a fight. On her bedroom door he found a note:

_I'm not asking for the gory details, just that you talk to me. I'm here for you, but are you here for me? If you think this is protecting me, then you don't know me as well as you think you do. Just ask Aaron. I've been listening to his troubles about these cases since you joined the team. He didn't even have to ask. I told him I would listen, which is exactly what I told you when you went into the FBI, but you seem to have forgotten that. I'm not fragile Spencer. I can handle a lot more than anyone thinks I can._

He put the note in his pocket, and left the house fifteen minutes later. On the way to work, Spencer ran various apologies and conversations through his head, but before he could apologize to Hannah, a new case took the team to Arizona.

* * *

Aaron waited until the rest of the team nodded off on the plane before he sat down on the other side of the table Spencer kept staring at.

"What's going on with you and Hannah?"

"Did she call you and tell you about our fight?"

"No. I last talked to her at the barbeque. I know something happened between you because I see it weighing on you. What was the fight about, if you don't mind my asking."

"She wants me to talk to her about the cases instead of shutting her out. And she left me this."

Spencer pulled the note out of his satchel and handed it over. He watched Aaron read it, looking for any tell-tale sign.

"I love how to the point she is." Aaron said with a grin. "Talk to her. Open up to her. She can handle it."

"What if Hannah can't handle it?"

"She would have talked you out of joining the BAU instead of supporting you. Reid, Hannah's always there for you. Make the same effort. Go home to her. Talk to her about the cases. She wants to give you a healthy way to unload."

"That's healthy? Talking with her about what we see and what we deal with?"

"Reid, Hannah's much stronger than you give her credit for. Remember, I've met her parents too."

Spencer laughed. He loved Hannah's parents, but they had an odd way of preparing their children for the real world. Hannah and her siblings called it 'Scare Tactics'. They watched films about drug abuse, eating disorders, runaway teens and teen pregnancy all before starting junior high, and participated in tours of treatment centers. Their psychologist parents worked with patients traumatized by differing kinds of abuse and never wanted their kids going down those dangerous paths, so they gave them reality checks wherever and whenever possible. One of the many reasons Hannah chose the path of literary analysis in college and avoided higher level psych classes. She knew it all, but didn't have the interest like she did for literature, one reason why Hannah's request shocked him.

"Why didn't Hannah tell me before now that you talk to her about the cases?"

"I assumed you already knew. Hannah never said anything..." Aaron closed his eyes and shook his head. "She never said anything to either confirm or deny that belief. I'm sorry Reid. Hannah and I have steered clear of discussing anything private about you and Haley, so I thought that was why she never brought it up."

"What does she say when you talk to her about the cases?"

Aaron stayed quite for a whole minute while he thought about what he would say next. When he did speak, he spoke a bit slower, and selected his words and his inflections.

"Hannah is insanely gifted in psychology. She's more than handled anything I've told her; she's helped me when the cases threatened to drive me over the edge. I would put her on the team, except for the fact that she would execute the unsubs."

"I noticed that when I started at the Academy and talked to her about what we were learning in class. That's part of the reason I stopped talking to her about this."

"I've been talking to her about everything, so you might as well. Trust me when I say this, it will help."

Head back on the rest, Spencer watched Aaron for another few seconds before staring out the window until the jet landed.

"Okay. I will."


	3. Won't Get Fooled Again

Chapter 3

**Won't Get Fooled Again**

Spencer followed through and opened up once again with Hannah. Seattle, Arizona, Boston, all the way back to his first case. He even spoke about a few he consulted on or observed while at the Academy. Once he started, he couldn't stop. Releasing all those pent up emotions through talking felt good. Hannah listened the way her parents taught her, helping him heal those old wounds he hid from her for so long. She handled the entire thing rather well in Spencer's opinion.

After he talked himself hoarse, Hannah brought him a cup of chamomile tea with honey, and one of their favorite shared novels as they climbed into bed. Spencer grinned when he saw the cover, _The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_. Appropriate bedtime reading after what he'd just shared with her. It countered the seriousness of their talk with its absolute absurdity. As one of his favorites, he'd read it three times, and he didn't mind the normal pace Hannah read aloud at. She read very fast when she read for herself. Her father declared her a speed reader at the age of ten after she read four major newspapers over two bowls of cereal and a plate of toast, but she couldn't comprehend how Spencer could read as fast as he did. It amused her that he flipped through a new book in fifteen minutes, when she needed perhaps a day or a half.

Nothing he did infuriated her, besides not opening up after a case. Everything he did amazed her in some way, and she amazed him. Hannah created new voices for characters, some stolen from students in her classes. Spencer found that out after he sat in on a few of her lectures. Tonight she had an accent for Zaphod Beeblebrox that caused honey chamomile to squirt out of Spencer's nose. They fell asleep happy and the next day, Hannah wished him luck when he needed to leave on a case again. She did grumble a bit about the nice sunny weather in Florida when Spencer called her about the teams' destination.

* * *

"Hannah, I'm back from Florida! You didn't answer your phone." Spencer stopped in the foyer and listening for any noise in the still house. "Hannah? Where are you?"

The faint sound of running water sent him flying up the stairs, fearful of finding Hannah in a rare depressive episode. She always answered her cell phone in the shower, except when depressed.

When Spencer heard her crying in the shower he walked right in and pulled the curtain back. Hannah sat on the tile, arms wrapped around her legs, face buried in her knees. Turning off the water, he wrapped her up in a towel, and cupped her chin. She looked up at him.

"Hannah what's wrong?"

"It's Lily."

Lily. Hannah's four year old niece from her twin brother Matthew and his long term girlfriend Allison. One of the few children Spencer didn't freak out, and the one niece or nephew who didn't take any time warming up to him. She called him Pence and thought the name sounded hilarious. She also called him uncle. Lily didn't understand the complicated relationship he had with her aunt, even though her own parents had the same complicated relationship. At her age, Lily didn't care.

"What happened?"

"She has leukemia."

"A new study shows that has a survival rate of 90%."

Spencer blurted that out and felt terrible when he saw the look on Hannah's face.

"Spencer! I don't want to hear statistics right now."

"I'm sorry, the statistic just popped into my head."

"Lily's not a statistic!"

"Sorry. I swear I'll stop talking percentages." Spencer ran other numbers through his head but didn't say anything about them. "When did you find out?"

"At school today. Matthew called from New York. Allison called him after she took Lily to the doctor in Miami. Ally noticed some bruises on Lily that she got playing on the beach that wouldn't go away. I need to go down this weekend. If she needs a bone marrow transplant, I need to get tested. And Lily needs me. There's a flight tomorrow morning I can catch. My department dean told me to call if I need some days off next week."

"You think you'll stay down there past the weekend?"

"I think I might." Hannah stopped in the middle of her sentence and swallowed before she continued. "I think I might have to miss your birthday. I'm so sorry."

"It's just one birthday, Hannah. Go see Lily. She needs you right now more than I do."

"You can come with me to Miami. Just for the weekend. I'll make sure you're back by Monday."

"You want me to come with you to Florida?"

"Lily would love to see you. Please come. It will make her feel so much better. And we can celebrate your birthday a few days early."

"The weather is nice in Florida."

Spencer smiled when he saw Hannah perk up.

She looked much happier than she did five minutes ago. So happy in fact that she pulled Spencer into the shower with her. They laughed as she kissed his neck while Spencer tried propping himself up on the wet tiles and failed. Hannah giggled.

"Sorry the tiles are soapy."

"Are you serious right now?" Spencer said as he failed once again and laughed. "Shower sex?"

"Absolutely."

"Last time I almost bruised my tailbone."

"I bought a thicker shower mat."

"Oh yeah, you did."

"Stop talking and get undressed."

* * *

Aaron sent Spencer a joking text about sunscreen, followed by a more serious text about his hopes that the doctors find a match soon for Lily. After Hannah glanced at it, she sent a thank you back on her own phone and assured him he would see Reid on Monday.

Over the past three years with the BAU, he'd flown around the country on the FBI jet, so flying down commercial felt strange. He flew commercial Vegas and back and had not flown Miami since Lily's birth. The airport shops created a giddy feeling in him, like a kid in a candy store as he searched for the perfect gift for Lily. Hannah followed him, commenting on the possible gifts while Spencer kept track of every toy on every shelf in every store, their price, and their usefulness.

"Ally said Lily's obsessed with monkeys and gorillas right now." Hannah said twenty minutes into their shop hopping. "We should get her an orangutan or something. She'll love that."

"Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Spencer sounded annoyed and Hannah suppressed a grin at that rare emotion.

"Because I just remembered that conversation!"

"Do they even have any stuffed animals in this airport? I don't remember seeing one."

"Any kind of primate will do."

"I know!" With the goofiest smile she'd ever seen on him, Spencer said, "We could give her you!"

"Wow." Hannah stopped in her tracks and stared sideways at him. "Spencer Reid, did you just crack a bad joke?"

"It wasn't that bad!"

"It wasn't that great either. Or original. Remember, a good joke is well crafted."

"I'll work on that."

"Joke telling?"

"Yes. What kind of primate should we get her?"

"The Mandrill Baboon."

"What kind?"

"The one with the colorful face."

"Oh yeah. But wouldn't that scare her?"

"No. It's Rafiki from Lion King. He's her favorite character." Hannah stopped walking and turned a full three sixty, taking in all the stores in sight. "We'll have to wait until we get to Miami. I don't think Reagan has the kind of shop we're looking for."

"We should take her to the zoo and get her a stuffed animal monkey there." Spencer corrected himself. "Baboon."

"Yes! Today. First thing." Hannah smiled and put her arm through Spencer's before she rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for coming with me Spencer."

"We don't see Lily enough."

Spencer knew how many days they had gone without seeing her, but didn't remind Hannah of the number.

"No. No we don't." She grasped his hand in her own and lead them back through the crowd towards their departure gate. "Tell me about the Palm Beach case. Take my mind off Lily."

"The bomber blew himself up because Adrian Bale told him not to let the police get him in custody."

"Bale?" Hannah stopped walking and glanced at the people around them before she lowered her voice. "Bale was involved?"

Spencer lowered his own voice.

"They were his bomb designs."

"How's Jason?"

"He's at the cabin this weekend."

"No, I mean how did he handle it once he he realized Bale was involved?"

"He saved Hotch and Elle and a few cops from the bomber and a victim with a bomb collar." Spencer lowered his voice a little more. "Now that every prisoner serving with Bale knows how willing he is to talk to the Feds, he's considered a snitch. Gideon's pretty gleeful about that."

Hannah couldn't help but agree. She saw Jason in the aftermath of Boston, when Bale murdered six of his colleagues.

"Hopefully someone will stab him to death soon." Hannah said a bit more wistfully than she would have liked.

Spencer looked sideways at her, but Hannah didn't flinch, or even glance at him. Statements like those scared him, but not as much as the reason why he suspected she said them. Six years Spencer kept that idea, that secret, to himself, and he wasn't about to confront her in the middle of Reagan National Airport.


	4. Plain Sight

Chapter 4

**Plain Sight**

Lily gave her uncle Pence the best birthday present ever, a bucketful of seashells. After the zoo and the Rafiki stuffed animal Ally ended up hunting through Miami for, Lily insisted they visit this beautiful little beach her dad found the last time he visited. Of course, her directions would have put them in the sea between Florida and Cuba if they followed them. Hannah called Matthew for help while Spencer distracted Lily with ice cream.

The beach looked beautiful. So did Hannah in the new bikini Ally bought her. Spencer walked through a couple of shops until he found some board shorts and a nerdy t-shirt that cracked up Hannah. The joke on it sailed far over Lily's head. He also wore plenty of waterproof sunscreen. Morgan wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he burned.

All in all, they had a good weekend, except when Lily kept bringing up all the children in the cancer ward with bald heads. The thought of losing her own shiny gold hair freaked the hell out of her. When they couldn't distract her with soft or shiny things, or the idea of her dad coming home for a few months instead of a few days, Spencer and Hannah spent all their time reassuring Lily that her hair would grow back. When that didn't work, Hannah told her she could have all the wigs she wanted. Red, black, brown, blonde, even purple or green. Once she said pink, Lily became really excited. She wanted that pink wig now. They settled with dyeing her natural hair pink. After the girls reappeared from the bathroom, Spencer studied the result and admitted Lily pulled the color off quite well.

Sunday afternoon, Spencer accompanied Hannah when she saw Lily's oncologist about bone marrow. By the end of the meeting, he signed up with her for testing, even though he knew the very low odds of him and Lily matching.

"Spencer, you don't have to." Hannah said as they waited for the nurse to draw their blood.

"She's my niece. I want to."

"Yeah, but you and needles. Don't you remember what happened in college?"

"That student nurse didn't know what she was doing. I'm not afraid of needles." A few seconds later Reid realized what she really meant and stared at her. "You thought I was afraid of needles all these years?"

"Well you did whine about it for days afterward."

"She left a bruise on my arm. It hurt!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. Thank you for doing this."

"I would do it for you too."

"And I would do it for you."

The nurse found them making out on the exam bed when she arrived, and instead of yelling at them, she just laughed until they separated. After that, the exam sped by.

"So we'll known in a few days if either of us match Lily." Hannah said as she rubbed her arm where they stuck her.

"Does the rest of the family know yet?"

"Matthew called them. They're all getting tested."

"When does he get back from New York?"

"Monday morning. You'll just miss each other. He says happy birthday by the way. And something about a wild night out on the town, just the two of you, next time he visits. What do you two do on your wild nights out?"

"I plead the fifth, but I will tell you that Matthew has interest in things you've declared very nerdy."

"I'm well aware of my brother's nerdy side."

"I still plead the fifth." Reid said again in a conspiratorial voice.

Hannah rolled her eyes. She waited until they climbed into Allison's borrowed car before she told him her news.

"Spencer, I'm staying through next week."

"Okay." Spencer said as he turned on the car and looked out the rearview mirror.

"I spoke with my Dean before we left. My students can take over my classes. I'll grade them on how well they lecture each other. They'll love it. I know they can pull it off."

"They will. They're smart. I like your students."

"They're goofballs."

"They're English majors." Spencer repeated a joke he'd once heard from a professor's wife. "I thought that was synonymous."

Hannah laughed and her eyes widened in that way that told Spencer he'd surprised her.

"Synonymous? Oh I could think of plenty of words for engineering majors, and chemistry majors, and mathematics majors. Do you want to hear them?"

"No, no," Spencer laughed as he held up his hands in an appeasing manner meant for calming down dogs and fierce women. "I'll stop teasing you, I promise!"

"Does your team know that you do in fact have a sense of humor?"

"They do, but my jokes never work with them."

"Just joke with them like you joke with me."

"I'll try that."

"Promise me that you'll try one more thing for me."

"What?"

"Ask someone out on a date. Someone meaning not me." Before Spencer could interrupt Hannah said, "Wait, let me explain. You've never asked anyone out. Try it. Go on a date. Experience a date with someone besides me."

"How do I ask someone out?"

"Just use the words I used when we got kicked off that frat house roof. Do you want to go on a date?"

"What will we do?"

"Dinner and a movie always works."

"Why do you want me to ask someone else out?"

"Because for reasons Matthew and I don't even understand ourselves, we like seeing more than one person, and you and Allison have always been fine with that, but you're the only one who doesn't see other people. Allison sees other people, but you don't. Spencer, don't you want to explore relationships with other women?"

"I'm not comfortable with other women."

"Will you please try it? Promise me you'll do it."

"Okay, I'll ask someone out on a date."

* * *

Monday morning Spencer stopped by his apartment, dropped off his bags, changed for work, and laid out the seashells in a shallow hot bath since he hadn't cleaned them back in Florida. He had worried that the TSA wouldn't let him bring them on the plane, so Hannah packed them in the bag that would go in the belly of the plane. Lily demanded he promise to name every single shell, and Hannah promised him a list of good names so he could concentrate on work.

First thing, Hotch asked about Lily. He'd met her when she and Ally stopped for a night in DC last year while on a trip to New York to visit Matthew. When Hotch learned of her cancer diagnosis the previous week, he offered Reid a few days off, but Reid declined. He knew Hannah needed a lot of alone time with Lily, and he didn't feel comfortable the Florida heat.

"Lily's doing okay for now. She gave me seashells for me birthday and we dyed her hair pink."

"Pink?"

"Yes. She wants a pink wig when she loses all her hair from the chemo." Reid said, "Hannah and I both got tested to see if we can donate bone marrow, and the rest of the family will do the same."

"Good. I hope everything goes as well for Lily."

"Thanks Hotch. How's Haley?"

"Hormonal. It's interesting, to say the least."

"The pregnant female body is fascinating. I remember when Allison was pregnant with Lily, she would-"

"Reid, I know." Hotch cut him off in his final voice. "I live with one."

Reid nodded and stopped talking about pregnant women, then said what had tickled his brian the whole weekend.

"Back on the jet coming home from Arizona, you said you thought Hannah would execute the unsubs."

The conversation popped into Hotch's head as he backpedaled on his previous words.

"I was exaggerating Reid."

"No you weren't. You've been talking to her for the past three years about the cases. I've only been talking about them for the last two weeks and at the airport on our way to Miami, she said she can't wait for another inmate to stab Bale to death." Reid adopted his authoritative tone that made the rest of the team shut up and take notice. "How many times has she said something like that to you?"

With no other option left, Hotch gave up and sighed.

"More times than I would like to remember. But Reid, I don't think she actually means-"

"She does!" His hands clenched into fists, and when Reid noticed, he stuffed them in his pockets. "I know why she says those things, and I think you suspect it too."

"Reid!" Hotch struggled to come up with a more adequate reply, but Reid ended the conversation there.

"I have to go." Reid relaxed his body language as he stared over Hotch's shoulder and prepared to walk away. "They're bringing in my birthday cake."

The conversation left Hotch disturbed until he pushed the frank talk to the back of his mind for later.

* * *

The birthday cake looked delicious, but the trick candles annoyed Reid. The hat too. Reid blamed Morgan. He would have his payback and soon. As JJ cut the cake, Reid left the others around the cake for a minute as he joined Gideon.

"You having fun?"

"Yes. Definitely." Reid lied. "I am definitely having fun."

"Make a wish?"

Reid glanced up at the monstrosity on his head.

"Can I take this hat off?"

Gideon glanced at it too and kept the grin off his face.

"I wouldn't."

Reid nodded and said the next thing on his mind.

"I want Lily to survive her leukemia."

"Good wish. How's Hannah handling it?"

"She's down in Florida for the week." Reid glanced at the team before he continued. "She wants me to ask someone out and made me promise her I would do it."

"Interesting girlfriend."

Gideon meant it. He understood Hannah better than Reid did at times. She loved him, and sometimes Gideon felt that she loved him more than she could bare.

"Yeah."

Reid smiled, and Gideon suspected Reid knew what Hannah meant by this request.

"Hey Spence." JJ held up a plate with a big slice on it. "First piece for the birthday boy."

"Did you know she's the only person in the whole world who calls me Spence? And Lily calls me Pence. I like that." Reid said with a grin as he left.

Gideon smiled. He had an idea.

* * *

Asking JJ out felt good, but difficult and a bit weird. Getting the words out on the plane felt like agony. He felt comfortable with Hannah whereas he couldn't help but feel nervous around other women. He did have a crush on JJ, but never told Hannah. He knew she suspected.

Since Hannah made him promise, and Spencer suspected she conspired with Gideon, he went through with it and asked JJ out. And after the speed at which JJ said yes, even before he showed her the tickets, Spencer suspected she knew about the agreement too. Not that he minded. Spencer found football fascinating, from a mathematics and statistics view point, and he found JJ's presence comforting in large crowds. While he found the game fun and JJ a pleasant companion, Spencer missed Hannah, and wanted her back home.


	5. Broken Mirror

Chapter 5

**Broken Mirror**

When Hannah's plane arrived, Spencer met her at the gate with two surprises in a small white bag. The first, pictures he'd just developed from his football date with JJ, proof he fulfilled his promise. The second one he found just three days ago, before the game.

"Don't ask me how long I spent trying to find this." Spencer said as he pulled a long, thin black box out of the bag.

"A necklace box?" Hannah brightened, as she had a weakness for jewelry. "What kind of necklace?"

"Do you remember in college when you got drunk with those Russian girls in our apartment building?"

A short fit of giggling accompanied Hannah's nodding.

"My twenty-first at the Halloween bash? Yes. How could I ever forget that night? I ended up worshipping the porcelain goddess and lost my necklace down the toilet."

"I found it."

Spencer smiled as he handed her the box.

"Found what?" Hannah slid the ribbon off and peeked under the lid. "Oh my God."

Hannah snapped the lid shut, but stole another glance inside. Spencer cracked up at her reaction and laughed. The next thing he knew, she wrapped her arms around his neck and they almost toppled over.

"You like it?"

"I love it! Where in the world did you find it? I've looked everywhere for a replacement." Hannah glanced up with a suspicious look. "Wait a second. Tell me the truth. Did you find this or did Penelope find it?"

"I did, but Garcia helped a lot. I told her what you wanted and she just set the search parameters. I combed through pages and pages of results every month to find this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find the perfect diamond snowflake?"

Silence followed that question until Hannah removed the necklace from the box and studied it under the sunlight streaming in from the airport windows.

"Diamonds? Real diamonds? Seriously?"

She looked up, awaiting an answer, and he nodded.

"Yes. They're real diamonds."

"Oh my God. Thank you so much Spencer!" Hannah kissed him on the lips. "This is perfect. And it looks nearly identical to the one I lost."

"I decided to get you one that looked at least ninety percent like yours."

"This one looks ninety five percent like it. It's so beautiful. Thank you."

Hannah turned around and lifted her hair of her neck. Spencer checked that the necklace faced the right way before he clasped it closed.

"Just don't drop it down the toilet like last time."

Spencer teased and Hannah turned around.

"Don't let me wear it when I'm drunk."

"Hannah," Spencer put his hands on her shoulders as he looked her in the eyes. "I'm never letting you wear this necklace to the bar."

"That's a genius idea." Hannah said, "No necklace and bar at the same time."

The kiss she gave him this time went deeper than any kiss they'd shared in awhile. Spencer held her close and that's when Hannah sensed it. She ended the kiss and stepped back.

"Hannah," Spencer looked at her, confused. "What's wrong?"

"What case did you just work in the field?"

The kind she hated. Spencer knew he'd slipped up with the way he held her. So, he lied.

"Home invasions in San Diego."

"Don't call a rape a home invasion and expect me to buy it Spencer. Damn it, you know I hate it when you treat me like a glass doll after these kinds of cases!"

"What do you want me to do Hannah? What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?" Spencer grabbed her as she turned away and pulled her against his chest. "I love you Hannah, and you're the only woman I've ever loved. I see the dark side of something so special and I could never imagine hurting you."

"Damn you jerk! Just when I want to be angry with you," Hannah said into his chest. "You say something like that and sound like a poet and a prince. A stupid poet and an annoying prince, but my poet and my prince."

"What do you mean?" Spencer said as he tried not to laugh as her ranting.

"It means I can't stay mad at you." Hannah lifted her head off his chest and looked Spencer in the eyes. "But don't mistake mad with upset."

"Just wait until you hear the other surprise I have for you."

"What surprise?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Though she tried not to, Hannah couldn't help but grin.

"Spencer Reid, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

"When can we have this date?"

"Is tonight too soon?"

"Tonight is perfect, but if Aaron calls you in, I'll kick his ass."

"He won't. I told him about tonight and he said if a case comes up it can wait until morning."

* * *

They had a fantastic time. Hannah threw herself into the role of the girl on a first date, but for Spencer she broke her first date rule of never sleeping with someone on the first date. The whole night turned Hannah on. Spencer picked up on that and got her home as soon as possible. The moment the front door of their townhouse closed behind them, Hannah pushed him against the wall and kissed him as she tore his clothes off. Spencer did the same to her as they made their way up the stairs. A minute later they closed the bedroom door, their clothes left in a path from the front door.

* * *

"So what happened with you and JJ at the Redskins game?"

Morgan loved teasing Reid about girls.

"Top secret." Reid said a moment before a female agent after Morgan saved him from any further questions.

"Derek."

She smiled when she said his name.

"Hey."

Morgan smiled back.

"Hey." She stepped in between Morgan and Reid. "I put the transcript from the last prison interview on your desk."

"Okay. It wasn't classified rush. You could have sent it interoffice."

"I could of."

She grinned again and walked away.

"Must be tough man."

"Not really."

"What do you mean? You don't even do anything and these women are throwing themselves at you."

"Strictly off limits Reid."

"There's no code of conduct that says agents can't socialize."

"Well you see my code of survival says never mess with a woman who carries a gun." Morgan stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Besides, I'm not the one seeing two women at once."

"That's not fair! JJ knows I'm in an open relationship with Hannah." Reid said a bit loud, but no one looked over at them. "Hannah wanted me to ask someone out so I asked JJ."

"Okay, okay, I take it back! You two certainly have an interesting relationship."

"It's not that strange. Monogamy is mostly a Catholic or Christian practice and neither of us is religious, not that I slept with JJ because I didn't."

This time Morgan looked around, checking if anyone heard that, but no one overheard Reid.

"Ok. Good to know."

* * *

When Spencer entered their townhouse after the kidnapping case, Hannah woke up when he walked straight into the dining table. The light in the bedroom blinked on and Spencer heard the distinct sound of a hammer cocking back on a gun.

"Spencer? Please tell me that's you."

"Yeah, it's me, you can put the gun away."

"Why didn't you turn on the light when you opened the door?" Hannah turned on the hallway light for him and another one in the living room as she joined him.

Spencer just stood where he stopped and stared at the offending table.

"That table was not there when I left for work."

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you I did some rearranging. How did the case wrap up?"

"The unsub has erotomania, and he wanted both identical sisters, but we caught him and found the girl."

"Erotomania?" Hannah shivered and accepted Spencer's embrace as she whispered into his chest. "God that's scary."

With psychologist parents who liked sharing horror stories from patients and scaring their children on tours of rehab centers and institutions so they could keep them on the straight and narrow, Hannah and her siblings didn't have average fears. Sure they had some normal phobias among them, heights, spiders, bees, rats and the like, but also the fear of certain disorders they had seen tear so many people apart. For Hannah, abusive, possessive men, and the obsession created out of love became one of her greatest fears. Erotomania scared the hell out of her.

"Don't worry." Spencer knew a light tease would snap her put of her dark thoughts and said, "I'm not obsessed with you."

"That's good to know, because if you did I'd have to tell you I have a gun and I know how to use it." Hannah teased back, speaking of the beautiful revolver her grandfather gave her on her eighteenth birthday, the same gun she cocked upstairs when she heard Spencer crashing through the dining room.

"You still sleep with the gun under the pillow when I'm gone?"

"And in the bed stand when you're home. Are you coming to bed? I'll move the gun out from beneath your pillow."

"I'll be up in a few minutes." Spencer looked around the living room and dining room area. "Why did you rearrange?"

"I had some students over."

"For what?"

At two o'clock in the morning and startled out of a good dream, the question sounded stupid and annoying, so Hannah rolled her eyes, a gesture Spencer caught, and gave the most sarcastic response she could think of.

"Dinner, Spencer. Didn't you know you're dating a cannibal? Check the fridge for leftovers. Help yourself, but hands off my breasts." Hannah clapped a hand over her mouth as her eyes widened. "That was awful. Where did that joke even come from? What is wrong with me?"

She fled up the stairs and Spencer laughed as he answered her question.

"You get really sarcastic and tell inappropriate jokes when you're tired."

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Hannah said from the staircase. "Turn off the lights as you come to bed."

"What did you and your students do?"

"We watched The Chronicles of Narnia from the BBC. Good night!"

Spencer loved her warped, middle of the night sense of humor, and the fact that it embarrassed her when she said things like that. He yelled up the stairs.

"I love you Hannah!"

The sound of her footsteps stopped, and a few seconds later she whispered back, the smile present in her voice.

"I love you too Spencer."


	6. LDSK

Chapter 6

**L.D.S.K.**

The quiet under the gun range headphones felt like fresh air and warm sunshine after the crazy day Hannah worked through at Georgetown. Her administrator had a crazy notion in her head that coincided with her time of the month, which caused all the faculty in the department to lose their minds, leaving Hannah the sole sane professor. Her students didn't help. They sat through their classes with the collective attention span of a house cat on catnip.

Hannah almost asked them if they could share their joint with her, but stopped before the words could tumble out and give her a reputation she might not ever escape from. She hadn't smoked a joint since the day after she earned her second doctorate degree. Matthew surprised her with it, but their parents caught them and told her professors couldn't smoke marijuana. They told Matthew he couldn't share his medicinal pot with his sister anymore, then disappeared back inside the house. They let him smoke because pot kept his anxiety levels down, and it also helped him write his songs. A family friend wrote him a prescription while they were fourteen. Sometimes Hannah despised him for it, and until the night her parents forced her to quit, she raided his stash.

Her day worsened when the oncologist from Florida called, weeks after she expected him to. Keeping with the class agreement that all phone calls are conducted in the hallway, Hannah pointed at one of them, a signal that they run the conversation until she returned, and she stepped outside. After the doctor rambled on for a minute in a medical dialect she couldn't understand, Hannah yelled at him and he sputtered for a moment before spitting it out. The news she didn't match Lily floored her. She walked back into the middle of her classroom and scared the hell out of her students when she threw the phone at the empty first row.

Since she couldn't smoke, Hannah texted Spencer the minute her last class ended that he shouldn't expect her for a few hours as she headed straight for the gun range. He texted back about some foreign film she found uninteresting, and added he would meet her back at home. When Hannah arrived at the range, she realized she didn't have her revolver. The range owner liked shooting with her sometimes and loaned her one of his guns. She laughed when he gave her the Glock 17, and ended up texting Aaron. For years he'd teased her that he had the better gun.

The one slot open for shooting stopped Hannah in the doorway with the memory of the exact same range, and the exact same lane. Two years ago she'd stalked Aaron here and asked that he pull strings for Spencer, help him pass the Academy's physical tests he struggled with, and get him into the BAU. Aaron said she had spunk and nerve and proposed a shooting contest for his answer. She emptied her entire revolver through one hole in the middle of the paper target's head. Aaron whistled, asked if a Secret Service agent trained her, then swore he would look into Dr. Reid's difficulties with the Academy's psychical requirements.

When she felt his presence behind her not even twenty minutes later, Hannah didn't look around. Instead, she stepped aside, pushed in a new slide, and handed him the Glock. Aaron accepted the gun and put every bullet through the target heart. As the paper rolled forward, they each checked out the other's handiwork. Hannah returned the gun and Aaron followed her out.

"What's with the stomach shots Hannah?" Aaron said once they stepped outside. "That's a painful wound and an agonizing death."

Hannah stared at the wounds she inflicted upon the paper while she spoke.

"My administrator decided to be an idiot today, the other professors all decided to be lunatics about it, and I suspect most of my students were high, which just made me miss smoking pot with Matthew."

Aaron listened as he rolled up the paper and tucked it under his arm.

"So, bad day?"

"Lily's oncologist finally called. I'm not a match. So, yeah, it's been a bad day. You have no idea how much I want a brownie."

"Early birthday? I'll buy you a brownie, just not one of those brownies." Aaron wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a hug. "Come on, I'll bring you back here to your car when we're done."

Hannah smiled and followed Aaron.

"Deal."

Another memory from that same day two years ago slammed into Hannah's mind. After she shocked Aaron with her firearms display inside, they moved outside to talk. Aaron gave his word that he would help and also gave her the paper as a memento of their memorable first meeting, before he opened her car door for her like a gentleman.

As she climbed into the car, they almost kissed.

It happened by accident, they stood too close, but neither backed off. An inch separated them. Hannah smelled his breath and thought of cinnamon gum. She closed her eyes and breathed out, aware of her own breath. Chocolate. Minty. When she opened them again, Aaron hadn't moved. He stood by the car door, studying her. Watching her. She watched him back. His eyes never left her own. Hannah looked away first, and they landed upon the hand that held her door open. His wedding ring stuck out against the blue paint. She looked back into his eyes, but they too had glanced for a moment at his ring, before moving back up and staring into her own. When she couldn't stand the tension building up in her chest any more, Hannah pecked him on the cheek.

"I'm not the other woman Aaron."

Hannah whispered this against his skin, using his first name after addressing him by his last inside.

She stepped back, slipped into the car, removed a business card from one of her favorite bookstores that she had tucked in her wallet and wrote her cell number on the back. He accepted it as she thanked him on behalf of Spencer. They met again for a coffee and a spot of breakfast a few days later, and Aaron asked her dozens of questions, about herself, her famous parents, and the intriguing Dr. Reid. That lead him to ask her a few more questions concerning her relationship with Spencer Reid. When he finished interrogating her, Aaron apologized for being so forceful, but Hannah laughed it off, called the experience amusing and a bit reminiscent of her parents, then paid for their meal.

They became good friends and Spencer soon joined the team, but they never once brought up the near kiss or her words. A mistake perhaps.

Now Hannah found herself in the same situation when Aaron opened the passenger side door and then stepped inside her personal space. She didn't flinch, or move backward, but instead stepped closer. They hadn't experienced a moment like this for two years and it felt good. Aaron reached for her and Hannah accepted his hand before a car pulled into the lot, forcing them apart. They ignored the moment of weakness and acted the part of gentleman and lady, he helping her into the passenger seat. When Aaron closed the door, Hannah expelled her held breath through her nose and balled her fists as she stared at the new car. By the time Aaron walked around the front and got in, Hannah had the paper unrolled on her lap, studying his work.

"Spencer's gun re-qualification is the day after tomorrow." Hannah said without looking up.

Aaron heard her tone and noticed her sentence structure as well. Spencer before all else.

"He already asked me to help him at the FBI range tomorrow. Have you worked with him?"

"Not since the first time he saw me shoot. Apparently I scare him."

"Not just him. The first time I saw you shoot, I thought I would have a heart attack right there."

* * *

Two days later Spencer returned from the office in a less than great mood. Without a word, he put his gun away in the bed stand. Before Hannah could ask, Spencer shook his head and they both said nothing. They discussed everything but guns that night but that didn't satisfy Hannah. She wouldn't let him mope over it.

"You can test again in two weeks and until that time, you're going to let me work with you so you can pass it." Hannah said the next morning as he left for work. "This is not a negotiation. You need to get your gun back."

Spencer paused with his hand on the doorknob, thinking it over before he looked at her.

"Only if you don't shoot the paper target in the stomach. That freaks me out."

"Deal."

* * *

When Spencer returned from Des Plaines, he walked into the living room and found Hannah sitting at the dining room table, cleaning her revolver. She had it pointed right at him, but put it down with an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry Spencer." Hannah stood up and walked around the table. "Why didn't you call to say you were back?"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Instead I surprise you. Sorry." She grinned and glanced back at her gun. "It's unloaded."

"I can see that. Did you go shooting while I was out of town?"

"Yes, but I wanted to clean it before we practiced shooting together."

"We don't have to. Hotch cleared me."

"He cleared you to carry?"

"I shot the unsub with Hotch's gun."

Spencer put his hands in his pockets as his eyes wandered around the objects near at hand. Hannah sensed that his actions ashamed him somewhat.

"You get your gun back!"

She surprised him with a hug but Spencer surprised her more when he flinched.

"Ow!"

"Spencer?" Hannah backed off and watched him cradle his ribcage. "What's wrong?"

"My ribs." Spencer said in a low voice filled with pain.

Hannah pulled up his shirt and gasped.

"Oh my god, Spencer!" Hannah studied the bruises forming across his chest and said, "The unsub did this?"

"No."

"Who?"

The glint in her eyes when she looked up frightened Spencer. He thought about lying, but he knew Hotch would confess his actions over drinks with Hannah anyway. A confession that dangerous would get Hotch punched.

"Hotch had to get his ankle gun to me."

"What do you mean? Did Aaron do this to you?"

She turned back for her gun, but Spencer grabbed her arm and pulled her around.

"Don't be mad at him Hannah."

"He kicked you in the ribs Spencer!"

Hannah pointed at his bruises for emphasis.

"Hotch kicks like a nine year old girl."

Spencer grinned at his joke but Hannah just set her jaw and he dropped the smile.

"That's not funny."

"It's true." Spencer said, "Please don't be mad at him. I'm not."

"Go look at your ribs in the mirror."

"I can see my ribs just fine. It's not that bad." Spencer glanced down at them and when he looked back up he found himself addressing the air as he looked around and spotted Hannah marching upstairs. "Where are you going?"

"To see what we have in the medicine cabinet." She glanced down at Spencer. "I want to kill Aaron right now."

"Don't. He has a baby due any day now."

Hannah grunted, which always made Spencer nervous. He eyed the dismembered gun on the table and after Hannah disappeared into the bathroom, he inched toward it.

"We got Bayer and Tylenol. Which do you want?"

"The Tylenol will work." Spencer said as he picked up the firing pin and hid it under his watch.

"Okay, Tylenol it is." Spencer heard her coming and moved away from the table, but Hannah's next words stopped him. "And Spencer? Put my firing pin back on the table."

He looked up and saw Hannah leaning against the railing, her eyes on his watch.

"Not until you promise not to kill Hotch. I want to explain everything that happened. You'll understand that we didn't have another option."

She mulled it over for a few seconds, but Hannah nodded.

"I promise not to kill Aaron, but I can't promise not to punch him in the arm for payback."

"Fair enough."


End file.
